Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
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