What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
I did not marry a roomba.
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