she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
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