I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
