I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
someone owes me an orgasm
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
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