She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
In America we eat man semen.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
Randomize
