Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
i just sent this text using only my big toe
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
