all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
you never un-have a 4some
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
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