Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
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