OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
