maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
