One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
You dont lie about slip and slides
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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