Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
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