FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
