Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
i just google imaged poop.
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
Randomize
