its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
pop tarts are not kleenex
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
