Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
Randomize
