Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
Be still, my beating vagina.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Randomize
