the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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