man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
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