Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
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