We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
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