God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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