**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Randomize
