we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
Randomize
