I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
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