I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
you have to choose: penises or morals?
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
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