i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
Green mimosas i think yes
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
Randomize
