do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
