There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
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