He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
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