Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
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