New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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