Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
