if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
