Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
cat food counts as protein by the way
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
My feet surprised me
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
Randomize
