you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
