Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
His hands were made for my vagina.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
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