Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
