i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
I wish they made helmets for livers.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
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