All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
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It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
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Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
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