Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
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