I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone stole a lamp last night.
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
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