just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
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