Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Randomize