Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize