I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
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