I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
Vodka?
Forever.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize