I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
I have post one night stand depression
Randomize
