is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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