Fuck u you updated twitter but didn't answer my text
I know you're alive
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
organizing the empties. That sober.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
Randomize