When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
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