Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
