The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Randomize
