After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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