I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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