I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
