Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
Randomize
