I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
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