"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
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So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
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he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
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