No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
