Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
