Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
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