I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
