you guys were way drunker than both of me
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
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