last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
Randomize
